


How Not To Avoid Fucking Your Brother: A Guide To Failure

by 404pagenotfound



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Consensual, Incest, M/M, SO, Underage - Freeform, it's not really mentioned but yes theyre both underage, mentions of abuse, mentions of parental abuse, not really any extreme stuff not gonna lie, they loooove each other, trans Kurloz Makara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 00:33:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20349403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/404pagenotfound/pseuds/404pagenotfound
Summary: It was wrong. Wrong to think about Kurloz’s slender body underneath him, peering up at him through his long lashes. Gasping when Gamzee kissed him, squirming under his touch.Was Kurloz sensitive? Was he experienced? Would he be as quiet during sex as he was day to day? Would he let go and cry out loudly? Gamzee burned to know.





	How Not To Avoid Fucking Your Brother: A Guide To Failure

Gamzee loves his big brother. Maybe more than normal people love their big brothers. Kurloz loves him too. Did anything for him. Stood between him and their father, took his hits, and tended to Gamzee first when their dad beat him into submission. He worked hard, trying determinedly to get the two of them out of their father’s house. He was what Gamzee wanted to be … and kind of just … wanted.

Kurloz had been his big sister, up till he turned eleven, and Kurloz sat him down and signed that he was a boy. Not a girl. Gamzee had been confused, but was happy enough to accept it. He loved him any which way he wanted to be. Kurloz had hugged him tight, and Gamzee had the oddest sort of feeling in his stomach.

The feeling returned again and again as they grew older, and Gamzee always had an eye for how Kurloz’s body looked. He was always so thin, with barely there curves. Perfect, Gamzee thought. He was perfect. Gamzee would help him clean, eagerly, trying to spend more time near him, to catch the way he smiled when Gamzee did something to make him happy, the way he laughed softly at things he found surprising. Gamzee noticed things about him that even Kurloz probably didn’t notice about himself. Kurloz took care of him, and Gamzee still wanted more. But it took him a long time to realize what, exactly, he wanted.

It hit him late at night one night, dwelling on how his brother had kissed him on the forehead before leaving for work. The thought had slowly, slowly made him hard as he thought about where else he wanted to kiss Kurloz.

His perfect, soft lips.

His slim, pale neck.

His sharp collar bone.

His soft little breasts.

Gamzee inhaled sharply as he went from semi-hard to throbbing in a second.

It was wrong. Wrong to think about Kurloz’s slender body underneath him, peering up at him through his long lashes. Gasping when Gamzee kissed him, squirming under his touch.

Was Kurloz sensitive? Was he experienced? Would he be as quiet during sex as he was day to day? Would he let go and cry out loudly? Gamzee burned to know.

Gamzee finished that night unsatisfied, ashamed of what he’d done, and still aching for who he knew he could never have.

It only got worse from there. He could imagine the filthiest scenarios from the most innocent gestures, and it drove him crazy. Eating dinner with him became a chore, unable to sit there without thinking of how badly he wanted to bend Kurloz over that very table and take him. Movie nights were torture, made him think about slow, gentle sex, lit only by the flickering screen.

So he pushed his big brother away.

Kurloz was obviously confused the first time he got snappy with him. It hurt Gamzee to tell him to leave him alone, but it was better. Had to be better. Kurloz continued to do anything Gamzee asked, though he seemed … sadder. Gamzee tried not to dwell on it too much. He stopped seeing him so very often, and his feelings ebbed. It was working, like he hoped. He didn’t feel that overwhelming lust for him, not anymore. His traitorous thoughts still drifted back to him, late at night, but he pushed them down.

At least, until Kurloz brought his girlfriend home.

She was sweet, cute, and gentle. Gamzee wanted to rip her throat out, jealous beyond belief. He’d never considered this scenario, that his brother would move on from their world of just the two of them.

Apparently, they’d been dating for a while, and Kurloz had wanted to introduce her to him. Gamzee’s lip curled as he stared at her, and her cheerful smile faltered. Kurloz was observant, and had noticed that something was off from the moment Gamzee saw her, and he silently excused the two of them, giving Gamzee a nervous glance.

She never came over again.

Gamzee wakes up to quiet crying.

It’s obviously Kurloz, and the sound makes Gamzee’s heart hurt. He slides out of bed, padding across the hall to his brother’s room.

The door is open, just a little, and Gamzee knocks softly before coming in. Kurloz’s room is lit softly with purple lights and covered in edgy band posters, so very, very him. His bed is just as comfy looking as always, and Kurloz sits in the middle of it, looking downright miserable.

Kurloz scrambles to cover himself a little more, and Gamzee realizes he’s wearing nothing but the baggy black t-shirt on his body. He flushes, but keeps himself under control.

“What’s wrong, ‘Loz?” He asks, inviting himself in. Kurloz wipes his eyes carefully.

_ “Nothing you should be worried about.”  _ He signs, giving him a shaky smile.  _ “I’m sorry if I woke you.” _

“Don’t lie. I’m not a kid anymore. I wanna … be there for you too.” Kurloz looks surprised, and Gamzee’s hurt, until he remembers how harsh he’d been treating him as of late. He’d had to, the traitorous thoughts were only getting stronger in his mind.

_ “It’s just … Meulin.” _ He makes a vague hand motion that isn’t really a sign, more of a filler.  _ “I know you didn’t like her but-” _

“Did she hurt you?” Gamzee surprises even himself with how hard his voice gets, and Kurloz pauses, studying him.

_ “We just split. I wasn’t right for her.” _

“She’s an idiot to let you go.” Kurloz gives him a small smile.

_ “It happens. I’m not too good when it comes to relationships. I’m too much, or not enough.” _

“Don’t say that.” Gamzee hesitates before sitting on his bed, next to him. Kurloz studies him, eyebrows knit slightly. “Anyone who doesn’t get what a fucking catch you are is a loser anyway. You deserve better than them.” Kurloz’s lips press together, and tears collect in his pretty blue eyes.

_ “There’s something wrong with me, Gamzee.” _ He signs. “ _ Something that makes me … unlovable. Dad saw it first. And … I think you see it too, don’t you.” _ He looks to Gamzee, and the sadness in his eyes is killing him.

“What are you talking about?” He asks.

_ “I did something wrong, didn’t I? It’s why we don’t talk anymore, isn’t it?” _

“No!” Kurloz flinches. “No, it’s … there’s something wrong with  _ me, _ ‘Loz.” Kurloz smiles a little, one of his hands coming up to cup Gamzee’s cheek.

_ “You don’t have to lie. I just want to know. Did I do something? I want us to be close again.” _ Gamzee can’t speak. He wants this moment of contact to last forever, but he owes Kurloz an answer. How many months? How many had he made his brother hurt inside? Far too many. And only because Gamzee was sick, had something inside of him that was disgusting.

“I love you, Kurloz.” He looks surprised.

_ “I love you, too, Gamzee.” _ He signs his special little sign for him, and Gamzee hesitates.

“Promise not to be mad?” He asks. His voice is tiny, and Kurloz looks confused.

_ “I could never be mad at you.” _

So he kisses him.

For a moment, Kurloz is stock still, confused, and Gamzee doesn’t blame him. He doesn’t … reciprocate, no, but after a moment he relaxes, lets Gamzee do what he wants. It’s not right. It’s not what he wants. So he pulls back.

Kurloz’s eyes are wide with confusion, and Gamzee feels even worse.

“I’m so sorry.” He says, and Kurloz doesn’t respond. “Please … please don’t be mad.”

_ “I’m not.” _ Kurloz traces his lips with his free hand, still looking at Gamzee with curiosity.  _ “How long?” _

“Long, long time.” He says, voice rough. “I know it’s wrong of me. I’m sorry, ‘Loz.” Kurloz shakes his head slowly, and leans in.

And kisses him.

Really, actually kisses him.

Gamzee gasps softly, and he can feel Kurloz’s lips turn upwards into a smile into the kiss. He’s soft and sweet, and Gamzee wants more. He kisses him back like he’ll die if he doesn’t, and delights in Kurloz’s surprised little moan. His hands tangle in his hair, the wild curls they share. Kurloz is pliant under him, just how he thought he’d be, always willing to give anything for Gamzee, to Gamzee. Even his whole self.

Gamzee forces himself to pull back, looking into his brother’s eyes. His pupils are blown wide in arousal, and Gamzee has a hard time imagining anything hotter.

“Do you want this?” He asks. Slowly, Kurloz nods. “Promise?” He nods again, quicker, and Gamzee dips in again, kissing him breathless.

He pushes his brother back against the mattress, hands moving from his hair to his delicate waist. Kurloz makes a gorgeous little sound, nervous and sweet, and Gamzee pulls away to speak against his lips, cock hard against his thigh.

“I’ve wanted you … for so fucking long, bro. Always knew we’d fit together all perfect like.” Kurloz doesn’t speak, never does, but he feels like finally, finally the feeling is mutual. “You’re so fuckin’ pretty, bro. Want to keep you all to myself. No one knows how to properly appreciate you, not like I do.” Kurloz gasps as Gamzee explores his body clumsily, hand cupping one of his breasts through his shirt. He rubs the hardening nipple through the fabric, interested in how it made him squirm, little breathy sounds escaping his lips. Gamzee kisses his jawline, nipping it gently. Kurloz makes a soft sound of protest, and Gamzee pulls back quickly, only to see him smiling.

_ “I have work in the morning, silly.”  _ Gamzee frowns a little, and Kurloz takes his chin, pulling him into a short, sweet kiss before pulling away.  _ “Just not above the collar.” _ He signs, acquiescing for him. Kurloz always gave him what he wanted, in the end. Gamzee smiles a little at him, and he blushes a little.  _ “What?” _

“Just wanna stay in the moment, ‘Loz.” He says, maybe a little shy. “Um. I’m probably not … the best at this kinda thing…”

_ “It’s okay.” _ Kurloz pauses.  _ “Am I … your first?” _

“Yeah. Yeah, you are. I couldn’t … I never wanted anyone else.” Kurloz’s eyes get a little wider, his pretty blush getting deeper. “I just … don’t really know what to do.”

_ “I’ll show you.” _ Kurloz’s hand cups his cheek, thumb brushing over his cheekbone. Gamzee presses back into him, kissing him again. Kurloz laughs softly.

“How do you like it?” He asks, inches away from him. Instead of replying verbally, he backs away a little, and Gamzee immediately misses his warmth. But then, oh, he grabs the hem of his shirt, pulling it up oh so slowly, and he’s finally, finally bare in front of him.

He’s even prettier than Gamzee imagined, soft skin and subtle curves. They’re both thin, but Kurloz is thinner, his stomach dipping in slightly. His skin is dotted with subtle scars from their father taking his anger out on him, and it just makes him all the more beautiful. Shows Gamzee how much Kurloz loves him.

“Fuck, you’re pretty, brother.” Kurloz’s blush comes back, and now he can see the little red spots on his chest now. 

_ “Been told I’m not much to look at…” _

“Whoever said that is an idiot.” Gamzee snaps. Kurloz smiles a little and shakes his head, dipping in to brush his lips against Gamzee’s. Gamzee meets him and deepens the kiss, unable to deprive himself now that permission had been granted. Kurloz laughs again into the kiss, and Gamzee feels his hands on his waist, tugging at his shirt.

Right.

He was going to fuck his brother.

The reality of the situation makes him shiver a little, but he pulls away, pulling his shirt off in one quick motion. He’s startled to feel Kurloz’s hands on his fly, tugging his zipper down. He clearly has a lot more experience than Gamzee, but he seems to be fine with this fact, willing to lead.

Kurloz hesitates, watching Gamzee carefully.

“Sorry. I’m … I’m nervous.” He says.

_ “Do you want to stop?” _

“No! No, don’t stop.” Kurloz grins, tugging his jeans down his narrow hips.

It isn’t long before they’re bare to each other, and Gamzee scared that … maybe he wasn’t enough? Not good enough?

His fears are unfounded, ridiculous- Kurloz loves him. Exactly how he is. Kurloz pulls him in, on top of him, and kisses him again. Now, Gamzee’s cock presses against the curls hiding his sex, able to feel the barest amount of wetness. Gamzee moans, and Kurlos encourages him, hand coming down to wrap around his cock. He gasps. The feeling is so different when it’s someone else. When it’s him. Kurloz laughs fondly, kisses him again.

“Bedside table.” He whispers, and Gamzee’s eyes go wide. Kurloz was never, ever verbal.

“Your voice is gorgeous.” He says, instead of responding to his instruction. Kurloz flushes, presses his lips together. Seems like that was that, then.

He follows the instruction, moving away reluctantly to open the bedside table drawer. Inside is a little box of condoms, and a purple vibrator. Gamzee bites his lip, mind flashing to a hundred different images if Kurloz using it.

He wants to see that.

He picks it up, and Kurloz makes a confused little noise.

“I … can you … I want to watch.” He settles on. Kurloz pauses for a moment, but takes it from him. He smirks a little, laying back and spreading his legs, giving Gamzee the best seat in the house.

He’s wet, enough so that even the tops of his inner thighs are glistening a little. His fingers slip down through the sparse curls, coming down to rub his clit slowly. He lets out a quiet sound, a tiny little moan that makes Gamzee want to bury himself in him. He rubs his clit slowly, making his hips shift, chasing pleasure from himself. Kurloz’s eyes remain on him, though, as if waiting for Gamzee to do something. He’s confused, until he realizes he’s waiting for Gamzee to tell him what to do.

That gives him a rush.

“Use the toy.” He says, and Kurloz clicks it on. It produces a low humming noise, which is slightly muffled when he presses it against his little nub. Gamzee’s eyes can’t leave him as he shivers and tosses his head back, letting out a breathy moan. Gamzee can’t leave him there, he has to get his hands on him.

Kurloz jumps a little when Gamzee’s hands run up his thighs, spreading them further. He lets out an inquisitive little sound, and Gamzee shushes him.

“Keep going. You look amazing.” Kurloz squirms a little, moving the vibrator slowly over his clit. “Sing out for me?” He asks, a pleading edge in his voice, and Kurloz shivers again. It’s hard for him, he knows, but he’s so compliant. He swallows visibly, but lets out a louder, but still soft moan. Gamzee bites his lip, hand creeping up his thigh and dipping into his sex. Kurloz lets out a startled moan as Gamzee presses two fingers into him, curling them forward a little against the little raised bit just inside of him. Kurloz’s noises are taking on a higher pitch now, and Gamzee’s never been harder.

“Oh- Gamzee!” It’s near silent, but he hears it as his brother’s walls tighten a little around him and relax, hips chasing after his fingers as he thrusts into him.

“God you’re so hot. Fuck. I love you.” Gamzee tells him, and Kurloz shivers again. He can’t not kiss him, so he does. His mouth is open as he pants softly, but he presses a sloppy kiss to the corner of his mouth. Kurloz chases, kissing him good and proper. Having someone else’s tongue in his mouth is an odd feeling, made more so with the tiny spot of pressure caused by his brother’s tongue piercing.

He wonders how his mouth would feel wrapped around his cock.

Suddenly, Kurloz’s noises are more urgent, and Gamzee pulls away just in time to watch his eyes flutter shut as he cums, his cunt twitching around his fingers as he gets impossibly more wet.

He’s the most gorgeous thing Gamzee’s ever seen.

He comes down slowly, and Gamzee’s only distantly aware that he hasn’t gotten any relief for himself.

“You look so motherfuckin’ pretty, bro.” He murmurs, and Kurloz blushes, eyes half lidded and sleepy as he clicks the toy off. He moves a little sluggishly as he drops it back in the open drawer, fishing out a condom. He unwraps it, and Gamzee frowns. “Are you sure? You’re not too sensitive?” He nods, sitting up. His slender hand wraps around his length, stroking him slowly. Gamzee moans, loud, and Kurloz pulls away to open the wrapper. He pinches the tip of the condom, and rolls it down his length easily. He pulls himself into Gamzee’s lap, and he can feel his heat, just barely above his length, wet and perfect. “Please, ‘Loz, don’t tease me.” He mumbles, and Kurloz grabs his cock, sinking down onto him slowly.

His eyes flutter shut with pleasure, and Gamzee can’t help it. He slams up into him, making him moan loudly.

“Oh!” He gasps, holding onto him tightly. Gamzee thrusts up, hands holding his hips tightly. 

“Yeah, you like that, do you?” He growls softly. Kurloz nods quickly, eyes squeezed shut. Gamzee presses him back against his mattress, driving deeper into his brother.

It doesn’t take long until he’s driving into him fast and hard, helpless little noises of pleasure pouring out of Kurloz as Gamzee growls filthy things into his ear.

“You look so fucking good, spread on my cock. God. Do you feel good?”

“Yes!” He squeaks out, and gasps as Gamzee must have hit something good. He angles his hips the same way, and after several attempts he nails it again, and again. Kurloz cries out, loud and desperate, hand drifting down between his legs to rub his clit.

“God you’re so wet, you feel amazing…” There’s an urgent tight feeling in his stomach, and he gasps. “Fuck. Fuck, Kurloz, I’m gonna cum!” He buries himself completely in his brother and lets go. At the same time, Kurloz gasps, and his tight passage squeezes around him. Gamzee knows he’s cumming with him, and knowing that makes it all the better.

Kurloz makes him pull out before he softens completely, and Gamzee makes a disappointed noise, which he shushes.

_ “Condoms getting stuck inside my body is not a fun time.” _ He signs, looking amused with him.

“Oh.” He flushes a little, and Kurloz carefully pulls the condom off, tying it shut before throwing it out in his little wastebasket. “Did … you liked it, right?” Kurloz blinks slowly, and nods. “Good. You … you’re amazing.” He wants to continue to hold him, but is hesitant to ask for it. It still feels wrong, to have done that. There’s a sinking feeling in his stomach that tells him that there’s a very strong possibility that Kurloz only did that to make him happy.

Fortunately, he doesn’t have time to dwell on it, not when Kurloz is moving, standing gracefully and stretching.

“Where are you going?” Gamzee asks, hesitantly.

“ _ Nowhere.”  _ He grabs his shirt up off the floor, pulling it on again before climbing back into the bed. He gives Gamzee a little smile, crooking his finger as if to say “Come here”. Gamzee obeys, letting Kurloz pull him into a cuddle.

Maybe what they did was wrong.

But Gamzee couldn’t find it in himself to regret it.

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhhhhhhhhhh hahaha whatever.  
hope you liked it otherwise why the fuck did you click on it huh? huh?


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